“Off-brand gruel” and the way fires burn

This morning I read some advice that the “Mr. Know-it-All” column at WIRED gave an unhappy restaurant owner regarding a poor review posted on Yelp. The owner suspects that the review – which described the restaurant’s food as off-brand gruel -  wasn’t posted by a legitimate customer, but instead by a personal enemy with an ax to grind. Overall, the advice was very good: the owner was dissuaded from seeking to have the post removed by the site administrators, and to instead trust in the sophistication of online readers to discern between reasonable criticism and the rantings of a crank.

I have to agree. From my experience, fires like these online arguments and spats take fuel to burn, and it’s extremely important to weight what you have to gain versus how much you have to lose before you engage in a conflict. For one thing, criticism is just going to be there. It’s the nature of the internet, an open system through which information flows fairly unimpeded, and efforts on your part to stifle this flow are going to erode your overall appearance of authenticity. No one is going to take good word of mouth about you seriously if it comes out that you actively suppress bad word of mouth. For another, responding to unreasonable criticism, personal attacks and overall crazy, hurtful ranting isn’t going to help you. You can’t win an argument with a nut. You just can’t. It’s just best to avoid adding the fuel to the fire which your engagement will ultimately bring. Trust me: doing so will just make you look as crazy as the other person in the long run. You’ll erode any sense of authority or respect you have. Just ask yourself before you even type that response: what do I have to gain from this? Chances are, if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll realize it’s not a whole lot.

That being said, I think that it’s a good idea to legitimately, respectfully address worthwhile criticism. You always have something to gain from another’s perspective, especially if it’s a reasonable one, but being able to recognize that opportunity takes getting past your own natural defensiveness and ego. The best way to do this is to think in terms of possible advantage: being open to feedback from your customers will encourage them to take more personal stake in your business, which will ultimately help you in the long-run. Listening to your critics can help generate numerous ideas on how to run your business, many of which you yourself might not have ever thought of yourself. It’s really a win-win situation when you leave yourself open for reasonable criticism, despite what your first instinct might be.