Check out this cool vampire calendar from BORDERS!

I saw this “Boogeymanuals Presents: Vampires Bloodlines” calendar at my local BORDERS store and simply couldn’t resist purchasing it. To fully understand how significant this is, you should know that I rarely purchase calendars at all, and when I do it’s almost always just after New Years Day. Now here I am picking up a calendar in mid-July.

But look at the thing! I love the sepia, black and red color scheme and the bold illustrations. Each month features a vampire type creature of some sort illustrated by composite images sutured together, along with some weird flavor text, a country or date of origin and a “Danger Rating.” The pictures I pulled here are at random. The entire thing is utterly bizarre and creepy.

Check out the “Leech Fiend:” it looks like a possum wearing a flannel shirt with octopus tentacles for arms. The text is in French, which I do not speak. The danger rating is a 4, though, which I am guessing makes it slightly more dangerous than the sharp lid off of a can of Spaghetti-Os.

Here’s another one: “Soul Sucker.” It’s straight and to the point. And apparently it’s a bat. Here’s the freaky flavor text: “We present youth to soul-sucking fiends, cowering and crying in the darkness as they feed. We do nothing: we feel nothing, we are nothing, our children – our babes – are forever lost, enslaved not to mad men but to madness.” Won’t that be great in your cubicle?

God, I love this thing.

If you want one, you’ll have to go to BORDERS. It’s exclusively sold there. I’ve looked around for more info on this “Boogeymanual” line, but can only find this, a “Zombie Field Manual” calendar.